flabby expressions

Any topic (writer’s choice)

6.1 Flabby Expressions (Obj. 1)
Your Task. Revise the following sentences to eliminate flabby expressions.
A  We are sending a revised proposal at this point in time due to the fact that building costs have jumped at a considerable rate.
B In the normal course of events, we would seek additional funding; however, in view of the fact that rates have increased, we cannot.
C In very few cases has it been advisable for us to borrow money for a period of 90 or fewer days.
D Inasmuch as our Web advertising income is increasing in a gradual manner, we might seek a loan in the amount of $50,000.
E Despite the fact that we have had no response to our bid, we are still available in the event that you wish to proceed with your building project.

6.2 Long Lead-Ins (Obj. 1)
Your Task. Revise the following to eliminate long lead-ins.

A  This is an announcement to tell you that all computer passwords must be changed every six months for security purposes.
B  We are sending this memo to notify everyone that anyone who wants to apply for telecommuting may submit an application immediately.
C  I am writing this letter to inform you that your new account executive is Edward Ho.
D  This is to warn you that cyber criminals use sophisticated tools to decipher passwords rapidly.
E  This message is to let you know that social media services can position your company at the forefront of online marketing opportunities.

•    6.3
There is/are and it is/was Fillers (Obj. 1)
Your Task. Revise the following to avoid unnecessary there is/areand it is/was fillers.
A  There is a password-checker that is now available that can automatically evaluate the strength of your password.
B  It is careless or uninformed individuals who are the most vulnerable to computer hackers.
C  There are computers in Internet cafes, at conferences, and in airport lounges that should be considered unsafe for any personal use.
D  A computer specialist told us that there are keystroke-logging devices that gather information typed on a computer, including passwords.
E  If there are any questions that you have about computer safety, please call us.

6.4 Redundancies (Obj. 1)
Your Task. Revise the following to avoid redundancies.
A  Because his laptop was small in size, he could carry it everywhere.
B  A basic fundamental of computer safety is to avoid storing your password on a file in your computer because criminals will look there first.
C  The manager repeated again his warning that we must use strong passwords.
D  Although the two files seem exactly identical, we should proofread each and every page.
E The computer specialist combined together a PowerPoint presentation and a handout.

•    6.5 Empty Words (Obj. 1)

Your Task. Revise the following to eliminate empty words.
A  Are you aware of the fact that social media can drive brand awareness and customer loyalty?
B  Except for the instance of MySpace, social networking sites are booming.
C  If you seek to build an online community that will support your customers, social media services can help.
D  With such a degree of active participation in Facebook and Twitter, it’s easy to understand why businesses are flocking to social sites.
E  We plan to schedule online meetings on a monthly basis.

6.9 Buried Verbs
Your Task. Revise the following to recover buried verbs.
A  After making an investigation, the fire department reached the conclusion that the blaze was set intentionally.
B  Our committee made a promise to give consideration to your proposal at its next meeting.
C  When used properly, zero-based budgeting can bring about a reduction in overall costs.
D  Did our department put in an application for increased budget support?
E  The budget committee has not taken action on any projects yet.
F  Homeowners must make a determination of the total value of their furnishings.

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